Funny Political Quotes by George W. Bush: Self made Bush Jokes

Here are my dirty dozen (12) favorite Bush Jokes, I mean quotes. A comedian could not create the vast array of funny political quotes that George Bush said. Truly some of these are the best Republican jokes around. A salute to the political comedy of the period 2000-2008.

12. “I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.” –at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

11. “They misunderestimated me.” –Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

10. “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” –Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

9. “Do you have blacks, too?” –to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

8. “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.” –Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

7. “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” –LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

6. “This is an impressive crowd — the haves and the have mores. Some people call you the elite — I call you my base.” –at the 2000 Al Smith dinner

5. “People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in’s house and say I love you.” –Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

4a. “The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.” –Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

4b. “I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.” –Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

3. “I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” –Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002

2. “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” –Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

1. “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on –shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” –Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

Using Bush’s, and other funny political quotes, I turned them into modern political comedy using the haiku format.  Read them in my book here: BUSH HAIKUS: Simple Poems for a Simple Presidency.